Negotiating with A Loved One With Alzheimer’s

When my father, who had a brain tumor and who was fiercely independent, slowly grew to be unreliable in the handling of his bills, etc., I worried about trying to strong-arm him into letting go of their management. A friend said to me, in a reference to the biblical  ‘Honor the father and thy mother,’ etc.:  “You ARE honoring him by taking care of things, even if he doesn’t understand that at this point. It helped a lot. And, he allowed me to do that after a little negotiation, which relieved us both.

For the adult children of a parent with Alzheimer’s who needs in-home care, there are tricks to it. Gary Barg, Editor-in-Chief of Today’s Caregiver magazine, offers a great example of how to help a loved one who has been highly functioning but who now needs help, accept that help. How you characterize it matters!

Caregiver.com

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“Invisible” Caregiving

gary-sitting_webnewGary Barq’s memory of his Hungarian grandfather, who worked as a painting contractor in his own business until 80. When Gary’s grandfather developed Alzheimer’s the family who adored him, figured out a way to take care of him without destroying his dignity or their lives. It’s a touching story and one worth reading.  “Ok, We Go Now” – Caregiver.com

You can get copies of OK Now What? A Caregiver’s Guide to What Matters (Head to Wind Publishing) through caregiver.com or through amazon.com.

OK What Matters Most?

Pangborn Hall, Mt St Mary’s College

Sue and Nancy have been invited (and have accepted with glee!) an invitation to speak this Thursday at Mount St. Mary’s College in Frederick, MD. Their talk, OK, What Matters Most?, is sponsored by  the Living Leadership program in the Institute for Leadership, Ethics, Achievement and Development.

 

“Ultimately, leadership is not about glorious crowning acts.
It’s about keeping your team focused on a goal and motivated
to do their best to achieve it, especially when the stakes are high
and the consequences really matter. It is about laying the groundwork
for others’ success, and then standing back and letting them shine.”
–Chris Hadfield